The Biggest Dork

I had a nice enough watch, but not a watch I wanted to take on a journey. Not anything that would withstand punishment. Or do tricks. I needed a travel watch. And so it was that shopping occurred of a fanciful sort, culminating in the purchase of a watch more suited to my needs and temperament. The Casio PAG240T-7CR Pathfinder.

It supports more than twenty-four different time zones. Water resistant to 100 metres. Of course, it has a stopwatch and countdown timer. No big deal. But it additionally tracks barometric pressure. It's also a compass. It is solar powered. It has a thermometer. You can set five different alarms. The watchband is made out of titanium.

Included with the watch is an application to be a contestant on Fox Television's new reality series "The Biggest Dork". Prospective contestants are required to undergo a seven step audition process. For owners of this watch, the first four steps are waived.

If you wear PAG240T for more than thirty-six hours straight,
it will begin to try to assimilate you.

In preparation for our upcoming trip, I have watched a series of educational DVDs containing classes on photography, presented by a National Geographic photographer. The instructor spoke, repeatedly and at length, about how important the quality of the available light was, and how the best light was to be found at sunrise and sunset. Having skimmed a couple of additional articles I found on the internet, I am now armed with all the skills of a crack photographer, and can appreciate the delicate yet awesome beauty afforded by dawn and dusk lighting conditions.

Well, if you input your latitude and longitude into this watch, it will, at the press of a button, display on the dial the times at which the sun will rise and set. This excites me greatly. With this watch, I will easily bond with others on my upcoming journey. For instance, at breakfast I will be able to turn to them and say, "Check this out! This is when sunrise was. If we had gotten up then, we totally would have had some awesome light! Hey, you gonna eat that yak bacon?"

Finally, the watch has an altimeter, which should be fun to use. There is a function where you set the base altitude, and it displays the differential, so we will be able to see how much altitude we gain each day.

I am trying to resist giving it a name.